The Radical Act of Remembrance: Why Ancestral Healing Doesn't Require Mediumship
- Selina Borquez, LMT
- Oct 1
- 4 min read

They don't need you to see their faces. They need you to light a candle in their memory.
We live in a time of profound forgetting.
Many of us don't know our great-grandparents' names. We've lost our songs, our recipes, our rituals. Colonization, migration, and the relentless pace of modern life have severed us from our roots, leaving us feeling unmoored, carrying grief we can't name, repeating patterns we don't understand.
But here's what I've learned in over a decade of witnessing souls reclaim their lineage: **You don't need to be a medium to heal your ancestral line. You don't need to channel spirits or receive cosmic downloads. You need to remember.**
And remembrance? That's something every single one of us can do.
The Medicine of Memorial
Ancestral healing isn't about opening portals or speaking to the dead. It's about speaking to the *living memory in your cells*. It's about saying, "I see you, even if I don't know you. Your struggles were not in vain. You matter."
This is ceremonial defiance against the forgetting. This is lineage reclamation through the radical act of witness.
When we honor our ancestors—not through complex spiritual practices but through simple acts of reverence—we heal something profound. We heal the abandonment wound in our lineage. We restore dignity to those who were erased. We create a bridge of remembrance that heals backward and forward through time.
Your Body as First Altar
Your nervous system carries the story. Every anxiety pattern, every way you hold your shoulders, every instinct toward or away from certain places, foods, or traditions—this is ancestral memory speaking through you.
The first step in ancestral healing isn't building an elaborate shrine. It's recognizing that *your body is your first altar*. The reverence begins here, with honoring the vessel that carries all who came before.
This is why ancestral work that ignores the body, that bypasses the nervous system in favor of spiritual highs, often leaves us feeling more fragmented than before. Real healing happens when we tend both the story in our cells and the souls who live there.
The Framework of Remembrance
True ancestral healing rests on three sacred principles:
Sovereignty Before Spirits: Your emotional and energetic safety comes first. Always. We don't invite all ancestors—we invite the ones who remember love. We create clear boundaries. We honor without obligation.
Honoring Over Channeling: You don't need to receive messages to offer reverence. A candle lit with intention. A meal cooked with gratitude. A moment of silence for those whose names you'll never know. This is medicine.
Healing Through Beauty: Ancestral work isn't about managing spiritual emergencies or processing heavy downloads. It's about creating something beautiful in memory of those who came before. It's about transforming amnesia into art.
When Remembrance Becomes Medicine
What shifts when we commit to conscious ancestral reverence?
The patterns begin to soften. That family cycle of not-speaking-about-difficult-things? The tendency toward isolation when you're struggling? The way anxiety moves through your system? These unconscious inheritances start to transform—not through dramatic spiritual experiences, but through the consistent practice of remembrance.
You stop feeling so alone. Even if your family of origin is complicated, even if your lineage is broken or unknown, you begin to sense the larger story you're part of. You're not the first person in your line to face what you're facing. Others have walked this path. Their resilience lives in your bones.
Your sense of belonging deepens. You realize you don't just belong to this moment—you belong to a long river of life that flows through you. You become a bridge between past and future, healing what came before and blessing what comes after.
A Simple Practice: The Altar of Unknown Names
Here's a gentle way to begin your own remembrance practice—no mediumship required.
What you'll need:
- A small candle (any color, any size)
- A glass of fresh water
- Something beautiful from nature (a stone, flower, leaf)
- A few minutes of uninterrupted time
The practice:
1. Create sacred space: Find a quiet corner where you won't be disturbed. Place your candle, water, and natural object in a simple arrangement. This becomes your altar of remembrance.
2. Light with intention: As you light the candle, speak these words (aloud or silently): "I light this flame for all who came before me. Known and unknown. Named and nameless. I honor your struggles. I acknowledge your sacrifices. Your stories matter."*
3. Offer water: Pour a small amount of water onto the earth (or into a plant if you're indoors), saying: "I offer this water as gratitude for your survival. Because you survived, I am here. Because you endured, I can thrive."*
4. Witness in silence: Sit quietly for 3-5 minutes. You're not trying to receive messages or make contact. You're simply holding space. You're being a witness. You're saying with your presence: "You are not forgotten."
5. Close with blessing: Before extinguishing the candle, speak: *"May what was broken in your time find healing in mine. May what was silenced find voice through me. May the love you carried forward continue to grow."*
Practice this weekly for a month. Notice what shifts—not in your spiritual experiences, but in your sense of belonging, your family patterns, your relationship with your own story.
The Ancestors Don't Need Your Perfection
They need your presence. They don't need elaborate rituals—they need genuine reverence. They don't need you to heal all their trauma—they need you to acknowledge that their trauma was real, and their love was real, and both live in you now.
This is ancestral healing for the rest of us. For those who want to honor without opening portals. For those who seek transformation through beauty rather than through spiritual emergency. For those ready to become the bridge between past and future.
Because remembrance itself is medicine. And memory? Memory is a form of magic available to us all.
---
If this practice stirs something in you, if you're ready to explore ancestral healing that honors both your lineage and your sovereignty, I invite you to join the Ancestor Anchor Program. This is ancestral work for those who don't identify as mediums—healing through reverence, ritual, and the radical act of remembrance.*
---
With reverence for all who came before,
Selina
Living Altar Keeper & Memory Tender



Comments